sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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