Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Acid is not a monday night drug
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
