ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
