I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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