shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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