today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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