she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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