Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
