Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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