your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
