I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
