Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
