reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize