You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
