this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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