i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
