the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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