when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize