Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
