you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize