To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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