haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
