Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
