Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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