I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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