just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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