Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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