It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
