Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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