I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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