we're blogging at a bar
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
