That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
