If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
