I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize