Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Is it because I queefed?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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