i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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