The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
