this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
