just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
