Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
