Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We have started to decorate penises.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
