I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
