Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think i got beer on your cat.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
