i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
where are you?
Hypothermia
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize