Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
