K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
