I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
