hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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