Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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