How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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