i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
