Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
