So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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