I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
