I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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