remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
