It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Less talking, more tequila
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
