He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize