the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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